All about Him

All, about Him. In my current book, the Him I refer to is the ex, whether it be the ex-husband, boyfriend,  or lover. I chose to keep His character nameless. I did this so as the character reads, she can easily insert the name, picture, or image of someone who might have done the same things to her or made her feel the same way about herself.

We all have self-esteem issues, but having a partner in your life who uses those issues to make you feel even worse or less is a problem for many women. Most of the time those issues become detrimental to the woman’s health either emotionally, physically or both.

I’ve addressed a few of those items in this book. After going through any kind of abuse, it’s important first of all to realize that there is a problem. Next, you must have some sort of support, either a friend, a family member or a doctor who you can trust enough to ask for help.

I’ve had three significant others, and I’m not going to say who they were. All three of them wanted to have some kind of control over me. Whether it was control of who I interacted with, where I spent our money, (even if I was the one earning it), or what I looked like and how I dressed. I’m almost fifty-nine years old, and it has taken me this long to realize how all of the men in my life have changed my perspective of who I am now.

The character in my latest book is discovering these things about herself, and while trying to fix her problems, the methods she uses only brings more issues to the surface. Her health is at risk, and she is having a hard time getting past the image she has had of herself that was a direct result of the men she allowed to run her life.

This female is also an empath who is very nurturing, and she takes on the problems of anyone who she gets close to. She feels their pain and sadness, yet spends so much of her own energy trying to help them, that she loses more of herself in the process.

This woman came from a large family, and she always had many responsibilities. The only thing that kept her going when she was married was having her family close by. That was taken from her when her second husband insisted they move away and start their new life alone. Now she is all alone. Her family all lives out of state, and she isn’t aware of how much the distance is also affecting her state of mind.

It will take an act of God or complete devastation before she realizes she needs help. Ladies, don’t let the Him in your life take away who you are. Find the help you need to understand that you are beautiful just the way you are. Whether you are overweight, too thin, to kind and overly generous with your time of money. Don’t let Him make you feel like you aren’t deserving of love. You are beautiful, inside and out and don’t ever forget it.   Coming soon Preorder here


Mind Over Matters

I heard an unknown male voice speaking. “Lexi, how are you feeling this morning? You’ve given us all quite a scare young lady!”

“I’m good, I think.” I tried to open my eyes, but the light behind the person who spoke was too bright. “Can you turn that light off?  I can’t see who is talking.?” My voice sounded unfamiliar and hoarse. “Can I have something to drink, my throat is so dry.”

“That’s good news, it appears that you are aware of your surroundings. Nurse Downey, could you get her some ice chips?”

I heard a woman answer, “Yes, of course, Doctor Engh. Is she only allowed to have ice?”

“I’ll let her answer. Lexi, how is your stomach feeling? Are you nauseated at all? If you are not, you can try some water, but I’m going to suggest just the ice chips for now. Ask her. Lexi, would you like some ice water?”

“I think that sounds great. Yes, please. Is my grandma still here?” I didn’t know what had happened to put me in the hospital, but I knew my grandma would tell me.

“Nurse Downey, have you seen her grandmother?”

“No, Doctor, Engh. The only one I saw in her room at all this week was Mr. Dexter. I believe Mrs. Picket told me he left to go back to Chicago, right before she left to take care of her husband, Joe. He just had another stroke. I hope he’s alright.”

“So do I. Now, Lexi, I’m going to ask you some questions. Answer me to the best of your ability. If at any time your head begins to hurt, tell me, and I will immediately stop with the questions. Are you ready, Lexi?”

“I think so.”

“Good, do you know your full name?”

My mind was muzzy, but I did know my name… “Lexi Bella Renaud.”

“How old are you?”

That one was harder, “I think that I’m…twenty-six.”

“You are doing great. Do you know when your birthday is?”

“My birthday?  It’s in May. On the tenth.”

The doctor pulled over a chair and sat down next to me. “Excellent. Do you know what month it is now, and what the year is?”

“I don’t know, my head is starting to hurt. Can we stop now?”

“Of, course, Lexi. Just one more important question, and then we will stop. Do you know why you are in the hospital?” He asked me the question, then began looking through his notes.

My head was pounding, and my eyes hurt. Why was I here? “I’m not sure, was I in an accident?” I put my hands on my head to rub the spot that hurt the most and instead felt a large cloth bandage wrapped around my head. “Oh, my God. What happened to me?” What was wrong, why couldn’t I remember. “Was my grandma with me in the accident?”

The doctor stood back up and walked around the bed to where a nurse was waiting. Then she put something into the tube that I noticed was still attached to my left arm. “Lexi, close your eyes and rest. We will talk tomorrow…”

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